Reflection

This time last year... this was the last week of my dad's life.

There are so many memories from the month of April that are seared into my mind.  Obviously the ones from the latter half of April are sad, but the ones from the beginning?  Those are full of love.

On Friday, April 13th my mom called to let me know that because the cancer had spread to the brain and skull, hospice was being called.  The rest of that day was a jumble: breaking down at work, filling out leave of absence paperwork, trying to pack (for a funeral when my dad was still alive), consciously knowing I needed to get my oil changed if my SUV was going to make the long trip home, contacting the oncology unit and hospice to start the Red Cross process of getting Carl home from Afghanistan.. it was a long a day.

And then my sister did the most self-less thing she's ever done for me.  Rather than stay with family, she left work and got on a one-way flight to Jacksonville.  She told me that if Dad passed while we were driving home it would be okay because he was with family and my mom.  She didn't want me to be alone.

And so it was.  We drove home.  And our house filled with love, family, and old friends that week.  At first my dad would sit on the main floor and visit, but once he began to get weaker he stayed upstairs and everyone would go to him.  When people were eating or catching up downstairs, he would sit contently and just listen to all the love in the house, trying to make out bits and pieces of conversations and recognize voices.  When Carl finally got home, he sat with my dad and went through everything in all of his deployment bags because it interested my dad so much.  Later in the week the weather warmed up and my parents needed the apple tree trimmed.  As Carl, Val, and I worked and laughed outside, I could see my dad's glasses in the upstairs window watching us and smiling.  We had a fire that evening too, and again I could see him watch lovingly.

I recognize that in a sense, we were 'lucky' if you will, to be able to have a bit of notice...like a warning to let us know - spend this precious time together.  It literally was one difficult, but precious week; one that I won't soon forget.

Prostate Cancer Awareness

Today is February 22nd and it's been 10 months since my dad passed away.  Two months from today will, of course, be the one year anniversary of when he ended his courageous battle with Prostate Cancer.  I'm not going to lie, the 22nd of every month is a difficult day, but April 22nd will naturally be the most difficult.  While this is looming in my mind, I know my mom and sister are also thinking about it.  And we wanted to do something in his memory.  We decided to start out with something small, so we've made a team for Zero's Prostate Cancer Run.

My dad and I would always watch for legislation issues regarding prostate cancer awareness and research funds.  Every time there was a petition, we would sign it.  We would dutifully email our respective house representatives and senators about these issues.  We kept each other up to date and one of our main resources was the Zero - The End of Prostate Cancer organization.  The organization facilitates the sending of the emails above, it lets you know about all the recent news regarding these important issues, and it does so much more to further the prostate cancer awareness cause.  My dad and I talked about issues like this often enough that Zero was one of the organizations we chose to name in his obituary in lieu of flowers.  Afterwards, I spoke with the representative who handles things of that nature and the customer service (for lack of a better description) further endeared this organization to me.

January 2012 - after shaving his head bald for chemo.

Our team will be participating in the Chicago area race, held on June 1st at the Advanced Urology Associates practice in Joliet, Illinois.  There are several options: a 5K run, 5K walk, or a 1 mile run/walk and everything is available for youth to participate as well.  This will be a great way to get together in memory of my dad while the funds raised go to a cause obviously extremely near to my heart.

We've made a team in his memory and named it Roy's Aces, as his cancer support group lovingly referred to him as Ace.  If you'll be in the area on June 1st, join our team!  We'd love to have you!  All you need to do is click on the Roy's Aces link above, click "Register Here," agree to the waiver, and click on "Join a Team."  Below the options, "Join an Existing Team" will populate with team options and you select us - Roy's Aces.  The rest is pretty well directed.  At the very least, please make sure you dads, uncles, grandpas, cousins, husbands, brothers, and all the important men in your life are aware of prostate cancer and the simple PSA blood test that can save a life.